I asked God to change me, to humble me, and to bless me. He made me Boy Mom!
I never, in 1000 years, thought that I would be the mother to one son, let alone three of them! I always knew in my heart I was made to have daughters. I am one of three girls and I’ve always been surrounded with nieces and girl cousins. When I had my first son, I was over the moon! I was so happy to be a mother and almost instantly thought of how cute it would be to have two kids: a boy and girl, (Aww right??)! In this perfect scenario we (Denzel and I) would both have a little best friend, so I had thought, foolishly. Lol.
As long as I could remember, I’ve loved everything girlie and I was always the girl walking around with her baby doll. As I got older I was always the one doing everybody’s hair. It is just who I am and who I’ve always been. It’s why I found it even more puzzling that God would decide to make me a boy mom. God, for real?
I can’t lie, in the beginning, I struggled with my thoughts. “How would I play with him? What could we bond over? How do I raise a man?” I quickly realized I had too many thoughts and not enough seeking. I didn’t seek these answers from God, instead I continued to question Him with my all of my “Why” based questions.
Loving my boys came naturally, I mean have you seen them?? I was just so worried about the wrong things. But that’s a part of being a mom I later figured out.
I stumbled upon a quote when I was going through a lot with my middle son’s health and it changed my heart. Of course I don’t remember the quote word for word, but it went along the lines of “God made you a boy mom because He knew you had the strength to do it.” Seems pretty basic, but this changed me and is still continuing to change me. At the time, my family was going through a lot! This quote reminded me that strength meant a lot more than just dealing with tough times. Strength represented teaching my boys to be strong, to be loving, to be emotionally stable, to be sensitive, to be smart and so much more. God felt I was worthy of doing that, of teaching, raising and helping three young black boys become amazing black men one day. There is so much that society says negatively about black boys and it is my duty to raise three of them completely against that.
It is my absolute HONOR to be a Boy Mom. Fast forward. My oldest son is 5, my middle son is 2 and my baby boy is 4 months old. What. A. Life. They are the most amazing, energetic, strong-willed, challenging, funniest boys I could ever ask for! Becoming a Boy Mom was a shock for me, but never for God. I thought I was made to have a daughter, to be a role model for young girls and becoming everything #BlackGirlMagic consists of. While I will always aspire to be everything #BlackGirlMagic represents, I find joy in knowing my boys! Getting to grow and see this on a daily basis, nothing compares! They get to be loved on, encouraged, cuddled, supported, pushed, defended, prayed for, provided for, and taught by a mom whose life is forever changed because she became a Boy Mom; their Boy Mom.
I am figuring out that becoming a Boy Mom is a symbiotic relationship: I need them for God to shape me and they need me to help guide them to the work God will do in their lives. It was never about what I wanted, or thought I needed. I asked God to change me, to humble me, and to bless me, so he made me a Boy Mom! Keep doing Your thing, God; I’m trusting You!